This same boy that I kicked out, came up to me at the end of the service and apologized and said he was sorry for being disrespectful. I respect that and I think he learned from this experience.
Teenagers want to be disciplined. If you do not discipline them they will run all over you. If you respect them enough to challenge them to be better than what they are, they will respect you enough to listen.
The Bible teaches us on discipline. Sometimes you need to be a leader instead of a friend. Don’t be afraid to disciple your teenagers or the students in your student ministry.
Always do it in love and be very respectful. 99% of the time I take action on a teenager and kick them out of our building or service they always come back to me and ask for forgiveness for being disrespectful and then they meet the expectations.
Here are some thoughts off the top of my head on how to discipline in the student ministry -
- Do not embarase them in front of the crowd unless there is no other way. Be wise in discipline .
- Respect them and they will Respect you.
- Do not give in!
- Stick to your commitment but don’t forget God did show us GRACE. I kicked a student out for good a few weeks ago. One month later he came back to me and said Brian I really want back in. We talked and I let him come back... Grace!
- Love! Sometimes it is tough love but do it all in love. Students get beat up enough. Do not tear them down.
- Do not be “Holier than thou!” Don’t pull the God card, “You know God would not want you to act this way. You are so ungodly!” Students do not get that all the time. Talk to them on their level.
- Be sure you have set them down and explained to them what they did wrong.
- Warn them! I told two boys last night, “hey boys I really like you guys and respect you, but you are next. If you can’t begin to behave during the service I will make you go to the back and sit with an adult during our service.” Now they know, so when I do it I can tell them, “I told you I was going to do this, did I not?”
- Relationships! If you do not have a solid relationship with your students you can not discipline them. They do not care how much you know until they know how much you care. Our students know I want them there and that I would do anything for them.